Editor’s Note: Jill Coleman is one of my very best friends, and an absolute force when it comes to getting your mind right. She’s funny and insightful, and if you follow me on Twitter, no doubt you’ve seen me retweet her pithy wisbits ranging from Byron Katie quotes to fitness straight-talk gleaned from years of experience. For those who haven’t yet been introduced, she is founder and president of JillFit, a thriving mind-body-and-business transformation company.
I’m super into her bracingly honest approach, so recently, I asked her to share her MO with you. Find out how to work with Jill at the bottom of this interview.
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Jen Sinkler: Over the years, your focus has changed to center less on molding the physique to look just so to a more inclusive, full-body health- and mindset-improving perspective. What triggered that shift? How has it changed the way you work with clients, and the results that they see?
Jill Coleman: I think when you’re first starting out — whether as a personal trainer or a a fitness enthusiast — you think it’s all about the to-do’s. We go around gathering information about the best fat-loss foods and the most effective exercises, and for a long time, as a figure competitor and fitness model, those were the only things I cared about. Anything to help me get leaner, add more muscle, lose inches. I never once stopped to ask, “Do I actually enjoy this? Is this way of eating sustainable? Or am I slave to the rules?” I was fascinated with information without paying much attention to implementation.
After years of starting new diets only to fall off them when they got hard or I couldn’t be compliant, I was feeling weak and disgusted with myself. I was really down on myself for not being able to stick to a plan, but eventually I called bullshit on myself and the whole process. There had to be an easier, more effective way — not even so much to lose weight, but to actually like myself and not have my self-worth rely on my body-fat percentage. And that’s when I started shifting my focus from to-do’s to how-to’s and started focusing on big dial movers and letting the chips fall when it came to small things. I stopped sweating the details, quit counting and measuring and started trusting myself more.
For the clients I train now, they come to me after years of yo-yo dieting, ready and willing to take the long view. Sustainable body change doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen via some random meal plan given to you by some expert. It happens when you immerse yourself fully into understanding your own body, staying as consistent as possible (not perfect) for months and years, and when you show yourself some compassion.
The mindset shift is the beginning of the physique shift. When your mental energy is free and clear and self-compassionate, you are much more likely to actually do the things necessary to see changes with your body. Negative self-talk is just a distraction.
Jen: A topic that comes up often from you on social media, blog posts, and your newsletter is “growth mindset.” What does having a growth mindset mean and how do you employ it in your life?
Jill: One of my favorite things to say is “lean into the struggle.” And I have been practicing that for the last five years — viewing my obstacles as opportunities rather than reasons why I should quit. One of my favorite books is The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday. It’s a quick read that touts the value of not only enduring challenges, but seeking them out because over time, you learn and build virtues that serve you, like resiliency, patience, compassion, flexibility, self-trust and levelheadedness.
A growth mindset is a specific way of thinking about life — you can see life as hard and unfair and any challenges as “fuck yous” from the universe; or you can see life as rich in meaning and lessons, and expect for things to not always go as planned. Be open to outcomes and open to learning and growing as a result of challenges — that is a growth mindset. And it is scarier, but it’s also liberating.
One of my favorite lines from David Dellanave is “Can I do that?” — and I have been using that phrase in my own life for the last year, in all things — travel, exercise, nutrition, relationships, and so on. It opens up so many possibilities and so much growth.
Jen: You have fairly recently embraced the idea of taking radical responsibility for everything in your life. What does this look like, and how does one develop this skill?
Jill: Aaah, yes! My favorite: #RadicalResponsibility. (You know you have to hashtag it, right?) This is the difference between being a victim and being empowered.
The victim mindset is effortless: Just blame and complain about how everything is bad and how no one understands you and feel justified in the unfairness of it all. It’s the perfect way to never change anything because you are waiting on other people/the world/God, whatever, to be different. You are at the mercy of your circumstances and that sucks! It feels hopeless.
#RadicalResponsibility is the opposite. You take 100 percent ownership of everything that happens in and around you. Even things that are other people’s “fault” — however it affects you, it’s your responsibility. This is not about blame or assigning fault so much as it’s about asking, “What’s next?” Are you moving? Are you taking action to be back in your power? What do you need to do to feel like you have a say in your life? When I am moving, I am learning and growing. #RadicalResponsibility is a no-complaining zone where you always have a move.
I asked positive psychology researcher and New York Times–bestselling author Shawn Achor about the related mechanics of optimism, and he said, “It’s about feeling as though what you do makes a difference. Happiness is the joy that you feel growing toward your potential.” When you are self-focused and not trying to control other people or outcomes, you are able to more fully show up in your life to create the things you want.
Jen: What are the “big rocks” of training and eating well, and how does focusing on them help people get to a happier, healthier place?
Jill: I love this concept. Metabolic Effect coined the terms “big rocks” and “small rocks” to refer to things that move the dial versus things that are not worth your worry. In terms of nutrition and exercise, not all choices have the same impact on your outcomes, and therefore don’t necessitate the same amount of mental energy. Yet oftentimes we are so worried about the details that the big things get overlooked. This is the different between worrying about how much sodium is in eggs versus asking, “If I eat eggs in the morning, will I stay more full and satisfied for longer?” The former is a detail that doesn’t make a bit of difference in our outcomes, versus the latter, which has a ton to do with whether we are successful or not.
Big rocks include things like movement (again, sure, there are a million different ways to move, but for the average person, are you moving regularly?), eating healthy foods that help keep your cravings and hunger at by (protein, veggies, specific starches — again, not necessarily how much, but is your focus there?) and managing sleep and stress, because those two have a tremendous impact on cravings, hunger, mood, and energy. Stop sweating the small stuff if you want to make sustainable change.
Jen: On the subject of moving big rocks, my readers love quick-n-dirty full-body workouts, and I know from working out together as often as we do that you do, too. (YOU ARE THE DEVIL INCARNATE, to be honest.) Can you share one of your favorite circuits?
Jill: Here’s one of my favorite metcons, the “5 by 4 Burn” — super simple, but super effective. Your readers can access it and try the full 20-minute video HERE.
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If you’re interested in more from Jill, check out her 52-week Total Training Experience, which is rolling out this week. It includes a monthly workout schedule, nutrition education, full-length video downloads and more.
The post Jill Coleman’s Radically Responsible Makeover appeared first on Thrive with Jen Sinkler.
Original Content: Jill Coleman’s Radically Responsible Makeover
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